Chronic Illness · Chronic Migraines · Chronic Pain

I’m back on Picnic with Ants. With news.

I have big news. I’m going to Diamond Headache Clinic this Saturday.

It’s such big news and I thought, hope, that me posting about it might help others. So, I decided to start posting on Picnic with Ants again. Hopefully, my audience is still there.

Here’s the link to that post.

I hope you will join me there. I’m going to try hard to document my time at the clinic.

Chronic Illness · Chronic Migraines · Chronic Pain · Meniere's Disease · nerve pain

It’s been a while-mini-me update

I haven’t been able to write much in a quite some time. Right now I’m having a Spravato (esketamine) treatment so I’m a bit intoxicated, but I’m pain free so I can type. However, since I’m intoxicated this post will probably have lots of errors and may sound a bit strange. You have been warned. Bwahahahaha

My hands have been hurting a lot because of the nerve problems coming from my neck. It’s not up as high as it was, but it’s close, really close. That makes it hard to type, impossible to write, and very difficult to text. I’ve resorted to using talk to text, and you know how that cam mess things up. Not being able to easily communicate well with the outside world is hard.

I’m not sure where I left off last time, so forgive me if I repeat anything or leave something out. If you have questions be sure to ask.

We are still trying hard to regulate my blood pressure (BP). I started this journey with one doctor, but changed to another PCP since the first one didn’t seem to take this seriously. My new provider is a nurse practitioner in the same office as my last doctor who moved away. I really like her and she is working hard on this BP issue. It will be dangerously high one day and then normal or low the next. That’s hard to treat, so I’m going to have a 24 hour blood pressure study next Tuesday. I’ll be fitted with a cuff that stays on for 24 hours. I’m not sure how often it will take my BP, I read online that during this test it normally takes it every half hour during the day, and every hour when you’re asleep. Not sure how much sleep I’ll get with that thing on. I just really hope this answers some questions.

There are 3 reasons that my BP has suddenly risen:

  • One is my Spravato treatments. During the treatment my BP is supposed to go up temporarily, then come back down afterwards. In rare cases your BP could rise and stay up there.
  • Two is my chronic pain, this is actually what my new provider thinks it could be; I take my BP first thing in the morning, before I even get out of bed, and it can be dangerously high when I wake with severe pain. Mornings are high pain times. I did read a study that said chronic pain can cause hypertension. That’s sad. It’s bad enough that we have to live in pain, now we also have to worry about our BP! Ugh!
  • Three, it could just be genetics. Not sure I buy that one. My mother didn’t have hypertension. My father had it later in life, but he didn’t take care of himself. He was overweight, and ate way too much sodium. I am not overweight, and I have been on a low sodium diet for many years because of the Meniere’s.

Another subject, well kind of… The pinched nerve in my neck is causing my hands to hurt terribly. And the Spravato is on the down swing so my pain is coming back…damn! Normally I get a couple of hours pain free at least. This time it was only about 30 minutes. I’m getting so discouraged. All this pain! The nerve pain, the migraines, the muscles in my back…I do not know what it’s like to not live in pain! I thought everyone had some sort of pain all the time, but they don’t! Some people have no pain. That blows my mind. When I do a Body Scan Meditation I realize that I have pain in almost every part of my body. I accept this is the way it is for now, but I also know that life is constantly changing. Just because I accept what is happening to me doesn’t mean I have given up, it just means I’m not using more energy fighting it all the time. I accept it’s there, that doesn’t mean it’s always going to be there.

I have been using the backspace key much more than any other key today. Constantly seeing errors and trying to fix them. I’m sure I haven’t gotten them all. Hell I can barely focus on the screen to see what I’m typing.

I had a virtual appointment with my headache specialist last week; she wants me to go to a headache clinic, either Diamond Headache Clinic or Jefferson Headache Clinic. The first is in Chicago, the second is in Philadelphia. What a long trip that will be. Mayo in Rochester is also an option. Evidently the Mayo near Phoenix isn’t that great with migraines. Go figure. We are in the process now to get me in one of them. It’s a long process and I’m afraid I might be going in the winter. I live in the desert, I do not like cold, nor do I have clothes for it. But I sure don’t want to wait until spring to break this damn migraine. the pain has been so severe.

I had a panic attack last week. That was scary. I really feel for people who have then often. They are relentless and illogical. I was terrified, but I had no reason to be. I have all these tools to help me get through things like that, but I couldn’t even think about how to do them. Luckily S was there to remind me to breathe. He had a few panic attacks last month, that was hard to see. I felt so helpless, even though he told me I helped him a lot. He told me during my attack, “At least I can understand now”. And now I understand how hard it must be on him to see me in pain all the time. Especially when I have vertigo with it. And more.

Well it’s about time to pack up and leave the treatment center so I guess I should close for now.

Seems like there was more I wanted to share, but I’m out of it. Not just because of the Spravato, I’ve been a bit out of it all the time lately. The migraine symptoms are in full swing.

Oh! It has been raining! So excited we are actually having a monsoon season this year! We had no rain last year, and the plants have really suffered. I’m sure the animals have too. We had more rain in one day this year than we had the whole year last year. The past two years have been very dry. With this much rain, we might have a super bloom (wild flowers blooming everywhere!!) in the Spring.

I hope all are well. Tell me how are you holding up?

Remember, I’m posting this without reading it or editing it, please be kind.